Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Creek Troubles by . . . Stephanie

A new little fan story from Stephanie. I can't remember, but I think this is her first story for us.

Andrea Carter and Creek Troubles
by Stephanie
crazygodgirls.blogspot.com


Cory pulled his horse to a halt in front of the Carters’ house. He knocked on the door loudly. Chad came out and said, “Cory, what is the---”
Cory cut him off mid-sentence, “It's Andi, she's hurt...badly.”
Chad said, “What happened?”
Melinda appeared behind Chad and complained, “What’s all the fuss? I'm trying to read my magazine in silence.”
Chad said to Melinda, “Nothing, go back to reading your magazine.”
Melinda turned sharply and left with a loud, “Chad Carter, you ought to be more polite to young women.”
Cory laughed but when Melinda turned around to look at him he pretended to clear his throat. When Melinda had left he continued speaking, “We were in the creek doing swim races when she saw a snake.” When he saw Chad's face expressing worry he added, “It wasn't poisonous or nuthin'. It was just a black garden snake.”
Chad urged Cory, “Keep talkin'.”
Cory said, “She swam toward it and hit her head on a rock. Her forehead was bleeding badly when I left her. I cleaned the wound some but she has a big gash in the middle of her forehead.”
Chad said, “You go back to Andi. I'll bring the doctor and some other people.”
Cory mounted his horse, said, “Sure thing Chad,” and galloped off.
Chad went inside the house and into the parlor where Elizabeth was talking to Crystal Smith, who was a good friend of hers. She was twenty-two years old and engaged to Mitch; they had planned to be married in a few months.. 
Elizabeth looked at Chad sharply as Amanda was saying, “Mitch should really come with us. I'm sure he'd have a great time.”
Elizabeth said, “Chad, what is the matter?”
Chad told Elizabeth everything in private in a corner of the parlor. 
Elizabeth gasped and Crystal, who had managed to catch bits and pieces of the conversation, said, “Oh, Chad, is Andi okay?”
Chad said, “I'm not sure; Cory Blake is with her.”
Mitch came into the room and Crystal said, “Hey, Mitch.”
Mitch said, “Hey,” and asked Chad, “What's up?”
Chad said, “Andi's been hurt. Find some people to help us find her. Cory's with her. She hit her head really bad according to Cory.”
Mitch said, “Sure Chad,” and left the room to bridle his horse.
Crystal said, “Can I come, Chad?”
Chad hesitated then said, “I guess, Crystal. Did you bring your horse?”
Crystal smiled and said, “Of course I brought my horse, Moonshine is a wonderful horse. Why would I ever leave her behind? I brought her foal Sunshine too.”
Chad said, “Let's get going then.”
Crystal mounted her horse outside and Mitch appeared from the stable.
Chad said, “You two go ahead. I'll get the doctor and bring some ranch hands if Sid can spare some.”
Crystal and Mitch galloped off with Moonshine's foal, Sunshine, following behind them keeping up with their pace.
Chad went over to Sky and got the eager horse bridled. Chad got on Sky and raced over to Sid. “Sid!” he shouted as he got closer.
Sid turned around and said, “What's the matter, boss?”
“Andi's been hurt. Can you spare a few men?” Chad asked.
Sid said, “Sure, I think Jacob and John are free to go.”
Sid yelled, “Jacob! John! Boss wants you.”
Jacob galloped from around the corner of his horse Buttercup and John followed close behind of his horse Ginger. John slid of his horse and said, “Good girl,” pulled some sugar out of his pocket and fed it to her.”
Jacob jumped off his horse and said, “Yes boss?”
“You two follow me.” Chad replied.
John told Buttercup, “You're awesome,” mounted back up and followed Chad to town to fetch the doctor with Jacob in the rear.
Chad got down from his horse when they reached town and knocked loudly on the door. The doctor opened up the door and Chad said, “Hey Dr. Wilson, can you please come with us?”
Dr. Wilson said, “Sure,” and quickly bridled his horse.
Chad said, “Follow us.”
Dr. Wilson went behind Chad and the four of them galloped off.
They went to the creek and tied their horse to a post. Mitch saw them coming from where he was watching Andi. He yelled, “Chad! Dr. Wilson! John! Jacob! Over here.”
Chad raced toward them and saw Andi. Dr. Wilson said, “Bring her out into the open, I'll help her.”
Chad and Mitch brought Andi out into the lush, soft grass and Dr. Wilson bandaged her head and said, “Leave the bandage on for a few days and she'll just have a scab and then a scar. Nothing serious happened.”
Cory appeared and said, “Is she alright?”
Andi woke up from her unconsciousness and said, “Mitch? Chad? Crystal? What happened?” Chad told her what happened and she said, “Take me home.”
In a few days she was playing around and having fun again with Taffy. Chad was just as bossy and Crystal was still letting her help out with Sunshine.
A few months went by and soon they were standing in a church, Mitch and Crystal standing next to Reverend Anderson, and soon Mitch was married to Crystal. Andi smiled at Crystal and said, “Your finally a Carter!”
Crystal smiled and said gently, “Yes Andi, I'm finally your sister-in-law. You may call me whatever, but I'd love to just be called Crystal! Crystal Carter has a nice ring to it though!”
Later that night Andi thought about how everything works together for God's good and fell asleep later. Andi learned never to try to catch black snakes in the creek again though.



9 comments:

  1. Great job Stephanie! I really enjoyed your story!

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  2. Good job, Stephanie. I enjoyed reading it. :)

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  3. Interesting story, Stephanie! :)

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  4. Creative! I'm glad that Mitch got married to a girl that likes horses. ;)

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  5. Fun story Stephanie! I hope to read more of yours. :)
    Random question for anyone:
    Does anyone know a reliable site for language translations? Google Translate is not very reliable, and I tried a few other random ones. I could really use some help!
    ~JT

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  6. GREAT story Stephanie!!! I enjoyed it, and hope 2 read more!!! ÷D

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  7. Don't use so many saids and says in your story. It gets boring that way.

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    1. That's a valid observation. By the same token, writers should stay away from "flowery" dialogue tags too, like writers used in the 1800s. "Said" is invisible, so if you do need a tag, use "said." It is better to use action, and Stephanie has used action for tags in many cases in her story. Like "Chad cut him off mid-sentence." And then she has him talking. That is excellent.

      But it is good to go through our writing and find little annoyances like the overuse of too many "saids."

      thanks for your input.

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Let Andi know what you think!