Saturday, October 26, 2013

Surprises! Part 1 . . . by Rebekah E.

Rebekah must be a popular name. Beginning today I'm posting a six-part Fan Fiction story from a new reader, Rebekah E. (AKA the-girl-who-lurks-and-does-not-comment-often). Enjoy! 


Part 1

Andrea Carter looked out forlornly at the rain drizzling down off the school house roof. It seemed that something always happened to ruin her planned days, and then nothing ever happened on the days that she had all to herself, except for chores that seemed to be there all the time, rain or shine.
“Miss Carter, please pay attention.”
Andi jerked her attention away from the window, feeling her face redden as a titter went across the room. Mr. Foster was looking at her sternly. Andi hastily muttered an apology. She felt Cory give her braid a slight tug of sympathy, and Andi gave him a grateful smile while her teacher’s back was turned. She quickly went back to her work, and the remaining hours actually seemed to go by quicker.
The teacher at last rang the bell, and everyone filed out. Cory and Jack met her outside the school. Jack Goodwin was now Andi’s friend again, after the episode of him hanging out with the town’s bully, Johnny Wilson. Now tagged along with her and Cory, although it probably would have saved him some mishaps if he hadn’t.
“Are we still going to race?” was Cory’s eager question.
Andi looked first up at the gray sky, threatening to really gush at any moment, then down at her recently cleaned school dress. She bit her lip, sorely tempted.
Cory must have known what she was thinking. He sighed and looked up at the sky too. “Alright, we’ll wait until a different day.”
Andi gave him the second grateful look of the day. Jack shrugged, obviously disappointed, but he agreed too, though silently.
They parted ways, and Andi walked towards Justin’s law office to wait for him inside shelter. She walked with her head down, and carefully tried to keep her shoes from getting muddy.
Suddenly, a stagecoach went by, splattering not only her shoes, but her dress, her face, her arms, and her hair. Andi felt tears well up into her eyes. All the hard work she had gone to keep herself neat, and now look! At least if I had raced with Cory and Jack it would have been worth the scolding, she thought. Swallowing her tears, more angry then sorry now, she marched the rest of the way to her brother’s office, aware of the stares she was getting from the townspeople.
She threw open the door into the office, and then, realizing that her anger would do no good, closed it again behind her carefully. Her brother’s clerk, Tim, was filing some paperwork. He looked up when Andi came in, and raised his eyebrows at her appearance.
“Did you get into a fight again, Miss Carter?” he asked.
Andi tried to ignore his sarcastic comment, though she reddened to the ears. “I need to speak to Justin,” she said hotly.
Tim grinned and pointed at her clothes. “Like that?” he asked.
Andi almost punched him. “It was an accident. I was walking here, and a stagecoach went by, spraying mud all over me. It wasn’t my fault.”
The clerk looked at her doubtfully. “An accident?” he said, as if trying to believe his ears.
“Yes, an accident!” Andi practically shouted. “Now will you let me see my brother, or do I have to burst in without warning?”
He thought about this. “Alright, alright, go on in. Your brother is available right now I believe.”
Andi swallowed her anger, giving Tim one last glare before going into Justin’s office.
Justin was at his desk, which was piled high with letters. He put the one he was in middle of down when he saw Andi and motioned her to sit down with a smile. “What’s wrong Andi? You look terrible,” he said with concern, not blame, in his voice.
Andi’s anger melted under Justin’s worry. “It was an accident,” she said. “All I was doing was trying to get to your office to let you know that I’m ready to go home without getting dirty, and a stagecoach went by and sprayed me. I’m really sorry.”
 Justin gave her a smile. “I believe you,” he said. “And I’ll be ready to go home too, as soon as I’ve answered this letter. Why don’t you wait out with O’Neil or on the bench outside, if it’s stopped raining, until I’m ready?”
“You’re the best brother!” Andi said, giving her brother a quick hug, careful to not smudge his outfit, and went outside. Andi was still far too angry to wait inside with Tim, raining or not.
Outside, although still raining lightly, it was better smelling then inside the inky, smoky clerk’s office. Andi rested her head against the wall of the office, closing her eyes to the world for the time.
In her mind she was riding Taffy up and down the range, when a hand clamped over her mouth, and a blindfold put over her eyes.


 

45 comments:

  1. nice story liked it
    i like stories when Andi is in school and when she gets kidnapped although it is probably not fun for her !
    awesome !
    i like the very expressive words you used
    i think i need to find some for my story
    i also have a fan story but i haven'[t typed it all up yet!
    Rebekah R
    who posts comment a LOT !
    LOL :)

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  2. Why did you have to leave us of thare??:-(. LOL
    Evelina

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  3. Cool! I can't wait to see what happened!
    How long did it take you to write this story?

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    1. Three days, but that is a record breaker. Usually when I have a story in my mind I have to write it down before I forget it. :P So I write stories like no bodies business! LOL. The last story I wrote about Andi took me a week, and that's pretty usual...short stories don't take me long at all.

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  4. My! I'd say that was a surprise! I wasn't expecting that! Good start, Rebekah.

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  5. are there 3 Rebekah's ?
    Rebekah R

    i am the one who posted the first comment

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    1. At least. :) I'm the Rebekah who posted above you and who guest posted last week. I'm Rebekah M. :)

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    2. Wow, apparently my name IS popular. (I'm the Rebekah that made the fan story.)

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    3. I'm Rebekah too. I've looked around for a while but haven't really posted anything! Good story, Rebekah!

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    4. FOUR Rebekah's??? LOL!!
      Thank you. :P Same here.

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    5. I know several Rebekah's but only one of them spells it the same way I do. I find it fun that not only are there four of us, but we all spell it the same way! Are there any Rebecca's?

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    6. My sisters name is Rebecca, I did not know there were so many Rebeccas cool

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  6. you have a great start!! I like it! :)

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  7. Mrs. M
    so how do you know when to indent on a story. Is it whenever someone is speaking?
    Rishona

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    1. For sure on switching speakers. And when the subject changes somewhat. This is a good question. I will try to answer it more thoroughly in a "Let's WRite" post.

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  8. Great story can't wait for the next part;)

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  9. Thanks to you all! Love my title. LOL! It was so much fun writing it, and just wait till you get to the next part!! :P

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  10. How old is Andi in this story???

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    1. I think she is about 16, but I can't really say why, because it's a surprise.
      (rubs hands together in gleeful anticipation) :P

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  11. Three Rebekahs. I think we might have a bit of an identity crisis here lol.
    Poor Andi, she's always getting kidnapped.
    We are currently desert camping.
    Last night the campground hosted a Scorpion hunt, so we all met out on one of the trails with our uv lights after dark. It was great fun! Like the ultimate scavenger hunt :-). We spotted about twenty scorpions.

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    1. I've heard it all now! A scorpion hunt, eh? Hmmm . . . no scorpions in Fresno, but I think I'm "sending" Andi (against her will) to Mexico in one of the new books. I will have to remember to tell me all about those creepy crawlers, Audrey.

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    2. Wow, a scorpion hunt!!! That must have been different. I've always heard that scorpions are dangerous, do they not sting as easily as I've heard or what???

      Ooohhh, That sounds like an exciting story Mrs. M :) Can't wait to read it :)

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    3. No, you will never have a Scorpion chasing after you *smile*.You usually have to touch them some how. I attended the Scorpion talk before the hunt. I learned unless you are a small child, a senior adult, or someone with medical problems, never go to the hospital if bitten by a Scorpion. Let the bite wear itself off. i think the Ranger said we haven't had any deaths in Arizona from Scorpion bites in forty years; and Arizona is one big Scorpion state! The hospital will probably charge you over $40,000 for the shots that you really don't need.
      I also learned that Scorpions are practically unkillable; they've been known to survive nuclear bomb testings.

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    4. So, what and how do you kill a scorpion? Surely there is someway. :)

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    5. Smash it with a rock???? My dear Audrey, you are a fountain of . . . odd and creepy facts about scorpions. I didn't know any of that! I heard that the smaller the scorpion, the more serious the sting.

      So, what do you know about rattlesnakes? Mostly about their bites. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I read that the older, bigger rattlers are less deadly than the young ones, and that rattlesnakes don't always inject their venom when they bite. I knew of someone who was rattlesnake bit on a hike, and it took a long time to get to the ER, and then it took MONTHS to recover, even with the anti-venom!

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    6. That's interesting Audrey, thanks. I've been to Arizona once, and my mom was freaked out to hear that there were scorpions!!! That's also good to know :D

      I've heard that the younger snakes can't control how much venom they inject, sometimes there's none, and sometimes there is an excessive amount. So yeah, they don't always inject venom, and sometimes compared to the younger ones, the older they are the less deadly :D

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    7. Yes, you could kill a Scorpion by smashing it with a rock or stepping on it, but don't go out of you're way to try it lol!
      Yes, younger venomous animals are usually much more dangerous, and here's the reason:
      Bigger adult venomous creatures have the upper hand on their prey, so they don't need much poison. However, sometimes the smaller venomous creature will find itself face to face with its prey that is just as big as he is! Thus the need for more poison. It needs to paralyze its prey fast!
      Sorry for grossing you all out *smile*. I know some very strange fun facts!

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    8. Excelente, mi amiguita! Muchas gracias!

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    9. There's no grossing out here, I find it all very interesting!!!
      So you live in Arizona Audrey???

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    10. I think it's interesting too. And you never know when a small fact might be needed for a story. :)

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    11. I'm glad I'm not grossing you out! Scorpions ARE pretty interesting!
      Yes, I live in Arizona.

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  12. Great job Rebekah!!! I can't wait to read what happens :)

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    1. Thanks! I can't wait to read your reactions! :P

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  13. are you entering the Andi story contest Rebekah E?
    if you are what group will you be in?

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    1. Yes, and I will be in the last group because I'm 15.
      Are you? Which group will you be in?
      (tough competition...) :P

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    2. I'm entering that group as well!
      Wow, there are a LOT of great writers in that category! That will be REALLY tough competition!!

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  14. Wow, Rebekah! I must say you are a very good writer. I like how you stick to one theme throughout the first part. In my opinion that shows good writing skills. Excellent job. I can't wait for part two.:)

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    1. Thank you! I can't wait until part two either!! :P

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  15. Great story Rebekah! Can't wait for the next part!
    ~ JT

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  16. i will be in the 10 - 14 group or something like that
    yeah

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  17. I live in South Africa, parts of which are full of snakes, scorpions etc. They are pretty interesting, but can be deadly. Great story, Rebekah! I can't wait for the next part!

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Let Andi know what you think!